Time to believe

In the wildness of this ride, I am able to delight in the perfect moments of now. On Friday I discovered that I can actually parallel park with a finger in the babies mouth! Who would ever known this possible? On my driving test I hit the cones but got my license anyway. Clearly I have passed the test. Today this dear boy was handed a kazoo, and knew exactly what to do with it. He didn't even need to 'figure out' that he would have to make a sound while blowing out for it to work. He is only eight months old.

Too long to remember

So much forgotten and now I remember. With the help of one of my fabulous friends I'm back in blog action. My life as wife and mama has settled in some ways, yet in others I am just waking up to this life of ours.
There are the deep joys; baby smiles, giggles and moves. The simple pleasures; ocean dips, making fermented pickles and my kombocha. The struggles seem faint at this moment. I'm loving this moment as my world sleeps.

A whole month

It has taken every bit of me to get to this moment. The challenges of this last month I liken to my experience of India; the land of extremes. The deepest joys to moments of deep grief. As I write this my 6 month old son and I are playing catch. He can't actual even scoot forward yet but he can direct a ball. He passes the ball with both right and left hand and often palms it a little first. I know it sounds hard to believe but we actually got it on video.
In this month we've moved to our new home. On half an acre which I plan to create an abundant garden on soon. A neighbor offered strawberry plants yesterday which is more then a metaphor for the rightness of this place. My husband is finally a permanent resident (although the actual card has not arrived. Likely due to the mail strike) and his home office, featuring a colonics unit, is ready for business.

Authentic movement was of great significance in my life just before midwifery school and thankfully a group has just started here on the coast!! This may save me in this hormonally stressful time.

Baby has two teeth and just tried avocado yesterday. We got a picture of that beautiful moment of first food.

Well that same baby is crying for magic milk now so I must go to him.

What more may come.

Oh my so many challenging moments today. Finally this week I have been feeling 'great'. Out on walks when strangers asked 'how are you' I replied 'great'. For the past many months the answer has been 'fine' or 'ok'. When questioned about these answers I was quick to confirm, just being satisfied the answer was not 'awful' or the like. I hadn't realized the shift until I heard myself say that delightful word "great". Fortunately today nobody asked that question of me. I have always felt the need to be honest. And so even this often empty question I give my truth of the moment.
Thankfully the moments pass!

Moonwater Mama: When I became a MaMa

Moonwater Mama: When I became a MaMa: "Having been told in metaphors about the change that would occur when transforming from maiden to mother, was more profound then I had imagin..."

When I became a MaMa

Having been told in metaphors about the change that would occur when transforming from maiden to mother, was more profound then I had imagined. On mothers day morning I cried deeper then I have in years. My sweet husband had started the gifting days before. The day had started slow with a leisurely bath and a plan for brunch at the Gumboot (our fav place to eat, in the creek). Not realizing the magnitude of such an action husbanddito, not being a techno guy, erased everything on the portable harddrive. This is where the metaphor comes in. All that has been of most importance to me before my new family, was eliminated in that moment. In a desperate attempt to find my teachers teaching I searched "Roshi". Poetically, to this popped up a picture of the baby wearing a kimono at two weeks old. My Roshi is here in every way. My new life the teachings.

That afternoon I used a fleece hat for a diaper liner, as I had not remembered the diaper bag.

Still feeling the after shocks of my personal earth quake, we carry on. This new way bringing new ways of being.

I am grateful for my husbands kindness, our sons gentleness and the divine light.

"you glow, you shine"

My shine is not seen by so many these days. For years I have been seen and appreciated by women, babies and families. I quiet enjoyed the continual stream of gifts, cards and various thank you's. It is an adjustment now for me. When women would say " i couldn't have done it without you" i would say "of course you could have but I'm grateful that you didn't". Now I'm finding new ways to remember how I contribute. Baby is helping by smiling to me,at any hour. He is ever so generous to others as well. I see him looking at people and waiting for them to make eye contact before he smiles just for them. It is such a pleasure to see the joy these smiles bring to the sadest of souls. I pray the thriving of us.