This year has been rather great, 5 days in!  Yesterday the most amazing thing came to my attention.  The local MacDonalds resturant has CLOSED!

Years ago when this same resturant opened I declared "I'll never be able to have children because there is nowhere without MacDonalds".  Well, as you know, I have had a baby...  So many changes and its time for even more self reflection.

Bear Moment

Today i demonstrated how to manage a meeting with a bear.  All the way home baby E, aka bubby, mimmiced my loud voice and clapped his hands.  We were out on our most-daily walk when I heard and then saw a bear in the woods.  We backed up with my hand clapping while the bear carried on and merged onto the route we were headed.

This 16 months has been so rich.  Its currious to me.  I have always felt may baby friend to be present and engagng, but now so much that i don't remember specificlly how it was before.

It seems that every day he is using a new word.  I'm trying to write it down or record him when I can. I'm really loving the many ways he calls to me; from a deep sleep, another room, from the back seat or in my arms: "ma", "mom-mom", "mommy", "mommy mom-mom".

These are precious and i'm so grateful for moments like this....gently reminded of the sacred.

back on blogger catching up

Really? it has been this long... Not sure if I should bother to catch up or just carry on from here?  How about a bit of both.
It has been a rather rough time, maybe the roughest I've ever known.  This being a mama is not for wimps nor is being a wife!  Sweet E, my fabulous 17 month old son is pure joy.  Yesterday a stranger stated "he's not just happy, he is playful" and so it is.
Not finding time to blog as a symptom of my situation.  Fortunately I have been able to rediscover my joy of knitting, which is counter balancing my all time high of stress. My third children's sweater I started last night, after both boys had gone to bed.  Most of my free time is spent paying bills and cleaning, which does not feel very free.  It is however feeling like I'm finally on the right homoeopathic and the garden is coming alive.
I've started taking my raw pies to our farmers market. Roger is happy when I don't sell out.  It is so wonderful to be making foods that are delicious and fit for a baby.  We were at a 2 year old birthday party and E was not even interested in the classic sugar and food colouring cake, thankfully, though I wonder if this is because he has yummy deserts at home. Or was it just a nice mothering moment?

And so I'm back to blogging!

Raw MaMa

In so many ways this is so. Just as baby turned nine months, outside as long as he was inside (he actually stayed a little more then that, but you get my point) i embarked on a raw detox. The process of offering foods to baby, other then magic milk has been slow and steady. We are committed to only fresh, raw and organic. So in the interest of not denying my baby the foods I'm eating, I realized now is the time to get even more raw! My emotions have been raw since I felt the spirit within, before the pregnancy test. The ride has been wild, been primal, been scary and new. It's been 20 days of raw detoxing....and I'm feeling great, today! Took a long walk with baby on board this afternoon. He is such good company.

With all the cleansing there is a smoothing of emotions and a lightness of being. With yesterday's colonic came a realization. Having never allowed myself to be dependent, and therefor vulnerable, I've pushed through with brute force. This method no longer works for my life, hence some troubled waters. Daddyman & babiest need the vulnerability of mama or 'mum-mum' as baby calls me. And so the raw will continue. This detox has another 8 days, but with any luck my raw mama life will carry far beyond next week.

Time to believe

In the wildness of this ride, I am able to delight in the perfect moments of now. On Friday I discovered that I can actually parallel park with a finger in the babies mouth! Who would ever known this possible? On my driving test I hit the cones but got my license anyway. Clearly I have passed the test. Today this dear boy was handed a kazoo, and knew exactly what to do with it. He didn't even need to 'figure out' that he would have to make a sound while blowing out for it to work. He is only eight months old.

Too long to remember

So much forgotten and now I remember. With the help of one of my fabulous friends I'm back in blog action. My life as wife and mama has settled in some ways, yet in others I am just waking up to this life of ours.
There are the deep joys; baby smiles, giggles and moves. The simple pleasures; ocean dips, making fermented pickles and my kombocha. The struggles seem faint at this moment. I'm loving this moment as my world sleeps.

A whole month

It has taken every bit of me to get to this moment. The challenges of this last month I liken to my experience of India; the land of extremes. The deepest joys to moments of deep grief. As I write this my 6 month old son and I are playing catch. He can't actual even scoot forward yet but he can direct a ball. He passes the ball with both right and left hand and often palms it a little first. I know it sounds hard to believe but we actually got it on video.
In this month we've moved to our new home. On half an acre which I plan to create an abundant garden on soon. A neighbor offered strawberry plants yesterday which is more then a metaphor for the rightness of this place. My husband is finally a permanent resident (although the actual card has not arrived. Likely due to the mail strike) and his home office, featuring a colonics unit, is ready for business.

Authentic movement was of great significance in my life just before midwifery school and thankfully a group has just started here on the coast!! This may save me in this hormonally stressful time.

Baby has two teeth and just tried avocado yesterday. We got a picture of that beautiful moment of first food.

Well that same baby is crying for magic milk now so I must go to him.